Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Two approaches to healing

There are two approaches to healing...

One is to find whatever has been weakened and damaged by illness (emotional, psychological, medical, or spiritual), and then repair and strengthen it.

Another is to find whatever remains viable and healthy, and then support and strengthen it. Since it is one body, fortifying one aspect brings healing to the all the rest.

So, too, the healing of the spirit: one path is to grab the weakness by its horns and fix up your act. Another is to focus your energies on the spiritual resources that are working well. Since it is one soul, when one area is enriched the rest is elevated with it.

So, too, in repairing whatever is amiss in your world: when you see others are not doing their job, that important work is being mishandled, or valuable opportunities are being passed up, it is not a time for anger or despair. It is a time for you to strengthen many times over the good work that you are doing in your own sphere.

And, since we are all one, the energy you invest in your little corner of the world pays off in every other portion as well.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

#1 Cause of Divorce

If you are married, your primary relationship in life is with your spouse. And, of course, the strength of that relationship will go a long way toward determining your satisfaction and happiness in life.

We've all had problems with our marriage, maybe even to the point where we were considering other alternatives. But, if you want it to work, how about making a decision to try the 100%-Commitment Experiment? Not 99%, but 100%. In doing so, something magical can happen. However, if you're not sure that you want to be content and satisfied in your marriage, then don't do this because it can begin as an experiment and end up as a lifestyle. And, if you accidentally found yourself happy, what might that do to your life plan? (Yes, it is true: some of us cannot bear to be happy and any happiness messes with our expectation of how Life is supposed to be, so we can have none of that.)

Here's how it works: one of you has to decide to commit 100% to the relationship. Let's say it is the man. When the man (husband, boyfriend, fiance) looks for the positives in his relationship and his partner, he will most likely begin to enjoy his partner more each day. She will naturally respond by being much nicer to him. This can begin an amazing transformation--I've seen it happen. And, you, too, can watch the years unfold and be one of those those couples, who, after 30+ years of marriage say that they've never been happier.

There is a remarkable difference between a commitment of 99% and 100%. At 100%, you are determined to see your problems all the way through to their solution. At 99%, we can still find a way to take the path of least resistance, or to slack-off, or get lazy. Truth be told, we all take our partners for granted, at least some of the time. Most of us would prefer to look the other way, to take the path of least resistance. Therein lies the problem.

You want to know the #1 cause of divorce in America?

#1 cause of divorce: We grew apart
#1 cause of growing apart: I don't feel connected
#1 cause of feeling disconnected: Resentment
#1 cause of feeling resentment: Withdrawal of interest and energy

So, go ahead, look the other way, commit at 99%, and you, too, can be a statistic.

And, just fyi, the 100%-Commitment Experiment not only works for also works for life.